Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Happy Birthday April Rebecca Averitt

You never know where life will take you, meet April Rebecca Averitt, our youngest daughter. Today is her 19th birthday. God placed April in our life at her birth, at the time we questioned our selves, if we could be the best parents for April, Steve and I were older, me 38 and Steve 41, we have five children the oldest being 18 and youngest being 9 yrs.old. Then little miss April came:) I know God strategitally place April in our lives and home. It has been a journey, with her knowing we fought for her to be our child, I always said, the others just happened but we chose her and fought for her. When I say fought, April's birth parents were unfit. We met her birth father at a church cook out, he was staying in a shelter ( drug rehab ) and a friend of ours brought him to the cook out. Later we realized he had a girlfriend who was homeless and seven months pregant. We gathered as a family and prayed about having her live with us, until she and birth father could ger on their feet. Birth mother lived with us and that is a whole new story, it did try Steve and I both to our limit, had we not been concerned for the welfare of the baby, we could not have done it. Once April was born, she was a er c-section, Steve and I held her and bonded with her, we have the exact same pose of Steve holding April after birth that we do of the other children! It was not long and we realized that her birth mother was not bonding with her, she only wanted to be with the birth father and he was back on drugs, she made the decision to leave our home, although we offered to put her through school and live with us and help her and April. She left and took April with her, my heart was broke, I was totally devastated. in a couple of hours they called for us to pick April up. They were staying in a condemmed old home on Broadway in LR, they were in a little closet size room, April and all her things, ( Ann May gave the birth mother a baby shower ) smelled like paint thinner, she stunk, I got her and took her home to her bed and bathed and washed everything, I told Steve I can not take her back. Well, I did have to give her back, this time it tore my heart out of me, I went to the church, sat at the alter and bout had a nervous breakdown, I may have had one, I cried, screamd, shook, begged God, I could not stand to leave her and see the way she would be treated. I got a call from a lady livng in the home (another room) she said she had April, that she took a buthcer knife to the birth parents and took April, that April was in harms way, so we went and got her again, this went on for two weeks. I realized I could not keep this up, that I had to be the mother to my children and our family was totally a critical mess. Steve and I took everything she had and all the birth mothers things to them and walked away. This was so hard to do, we took the birth mother and April to a women's shelter, she stayed one night, it made me physically sick to my stomach. ( of course I called scan) It had been two weeks and the birth father called, he was messed up, I told Steve I have to see her so we went over there, April had a bruise on her forehead and was totally blind. Due to the affect of the birth father being a drug addict,sniffing paint thinner, they sold the WIC for drugs and April was hungry, her tummy was distended, we had to walk on thin ice, he had threatend our family and my girls, he was mean and abusive and had no problem beating the hell out of a lady. I had asked the birth mother to go to children's hospital for April's shots, so she said yes and we went, of course they kept her in the hospital, during her two week stay, the birth parents were like pigs in slop, they had a home, tv, free food, even a washer and dryer, sooooo the social worker questioned why I thought they were unfit. In time the truth will show its self! Birth father came high and drunk to hospital, birth mother would not care of the baby or stay with her, then birth father and I got barred from the hospital for me and him fighting......image that:) April had all sorts of test run and as she got untoxicated she regained her vision and all was normal. During this time we had Cindy Moody draw up custody papers for us, I knew we had to do this the legal way to protect us all, Steve and I literally were ready to kill for this baby. I understand that sounds harsh but it is the truth. They discharged April to the birth parents, I about died! I could not even understand this, you never know God's ways and sometimes it looks so dim, you can not see the light of the Lord in your life. The next am early Human services went to the birth parents home and the birth father pushed the DHS lady down a flight of stairs, he called us, he wanted us to take custody of April, he had been a ward of the state and did not want her to be a ward of the state. We not walked, not ran but flew to children's hospital where they met us and signed the custody papers, we had a lady at the hospital notarize them. I grabed my baby and took her home, for her NEVER to know that life again. When April was about 14 moths old, her birth parents, who now were married and she was pregnat with another baby came to live in Mayflower Arkansas, they wanted coustdy of April, BEFORE the birth mother went to live back with the birth fater, when April was born, I called all the birth mother's family to help with April, no one could, the father sent the birth mother money to come home but she used it for drugs, three times this happened, birth mother had been raised in shelters in Oklahoma, they were Caddo and Commanche Indians.( which is another story) when their attorney called me and told me we would go to court and you cannot take a baby from its mother in Akansas, I told him I was the only mother in April's life and I would fight to the debts of the earth for her. They made up all kinds of lies and of course their attorney believed them. I got Kay H. McCloud (sp) for our attorney, she was suppose to be the best and she is! We met with her and realized the astronomical (at the time )amount of money we would need, now when things are so big, you do not even think you can do it, GOD always comes through! We never paid a penny out of our pocket for the attorney's or court cost, the church took up love offerings, Kay gave up some of her fee's and we went to court three different times. Judge Robin Mays was the judge, the first time we went, the birth father came from the jail, we had him arrested for threatening our lives and our children, we had it on tape, he was hostile and the birth mother was pitiful looking, I did care for her, I knew she was a victim. I have a saying, you canot be a surivor if your always a victim. At anytime she could of made a life change and her life would be totally different now. It is hard to take the victim out of the victim....almost impossible. The Judge gave them 30 days to get jobs and be able to care for April, we went back to court this time for the third time, they did not have an attorney, he quit them, even though the judge said he couldn't, he realized he had been dooped and the people they were, he was a Judge in Sherwood so when Judge Mays was off the bench some how he got off the case....smart man! But before he did, he ran us over the coals, court was ugly, and stressful. I felt April's life hanging in the balance and I was fighting till death. The Lord had gave me several scriptures of faith that April was ours, but I would lose that faith and barley be hanging on, I just would hold her physically and sing to her, begging God to protect her.

The last time we went ot court, I had a letter the birth father had wrote, it was asking the Judge please not let April grow up the way he had to grow up, when Judge Judith Rogers made him a ward of the state, he wrote this when we had custody of her, wanting us to adopt her, Judge Robin May's had to recess from breaking down on the bench, she left crying, I was crying as I sat there and read it to her. Then when the Judge came back she ask had the birth mother on the stand, why should she be able to keep April, the birth mother stated, so I can see if I can raise her....just a blank face and quietly spoken, still the victim. Then they called me and she ask me the same question, I totally broke down and begged for April, that her life would be sparred from the life style of her birth parents........we recessed, then she terminated the rights of the birth parents and we adopeted April from the State of Arkansas!

I have never understood if you are proven unfit in a court of law and DHS is sitting right there and you are holding a four moth old baby boy, WHY would they not take him? Yes, April had a birth brother Matthew, he was raised in DHS coustody in Oklahoma..........

When April was 15 we got a call in which April had answered the phone and it was her birth mother................ugh!! I had talked to her several times over the years but kept distance due to the way she lived. The birth mother had said her father was real sick and wanted to meet April, we prayed about it, had family meetings about it and decided to let April met her birth mother and brother, we went to Oklahoma, which was a good meeting, then the next year birth mother and son came to our home, then birth mother wanted us to take Matthew, birth mother had divorced birth father and remarried, the most stable she had ever been. Matthew was a product of street life and was already in and out of trouble, we could not care for him. He now has a baby and he is 17 yrs old had dropped out of school, lives in and out of people's homes, birth mother is seperated from husband and is at her father's again living off welfare.....life's cycle, it cannot be broke if the person does not take the stand of being a survivor and break it! April has always been such a blessing in our life, I sometimes wonder am I really the best mother for her? I feel old and wore out when she is full of life, guess that is why God gave her sister's and borther's:) April has never been really sick and she has never been rebellous ( sometimes in her own way) she keeps us young at heart, I love her dearly, someone once ask me did I feel any different with love for my birth children compared to a adopted child...there is no difference, I love her as if I carried her in my womb, I did carry her in my heart and I think that is more bonding then in the womb! This post is in honor of my April Rebecca Averitt................my baby girl! I love you April!! Happy Birthday!!

P.S. So you will know April does talk to her birth mother and brother, she has never and I pray will not meet her birth father, it is hard for me not to react sometimes when the birth mother calls her self mother to April, but I try not to, for without her I would not have my April! One other thing April has wanted me to share this about her life and ours.....to God be the Glory!
excuse the typo's no spell check, it would not work:((( grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr


Linda Lou Rogers Averitt said...

forgot to say the birth mother's fater was not sick:( but it did work............hum......

alicia said...

How vivid I remember this time in our lives.... I'm so thankful God gave us April.... can't imagine life without her! I love you baby sister!! And, thank you Mom and Dad for being selfless yet again, and adding to our family 19 years ago!!!

Anonymous said...

thank you for sharing this in type for all of us. I know the story for the most part and remember when she was born and where you all lived and I remember spending the night and asking to get up in the middle of the night to help feed her. How awesome God is!!!Our family would not have been the same without April Rebecca and I love her dearly!!!! God rocks!!!!! Happy 19th April!!!! Love you all!!! ~ ab

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Anonymous said...

well i can honestly say i am so glad these things happen bc i love April so much and has been a good influence to follow and i love u apey:)