Monday, October 31, 2011

Memory Makin Day:)

What a fun filled day, I was at mother’s and we slept late, very rare for me.  Mother and I then went to Jennifer Averitt’s to babysit, mother just loved it, Laila was sleepy so she just let mother cuddle her and hold her. mother girls Mika was asleep most of the time, but when she woke she was excited to see us, she went right to mother and gave her a big kiss, made mother’s day, she loves it when she realizes they know who she is and say her name.  MIMImother girls1Then tonight was our Journey Church first annual Harvest Fest, it was so much fun, we had a great turn out and fun time. girls hf It actually helped us to get to know each other and pull us all together as a church, we are close anyway, but it gave us much more time together, this has been a great memory making day!!  Amelia and Mika dressed so cute!  All the children were so cuteSmile  harvest fest  millhfI have Sales meeting tomorrow, property tour, then show property, then ladies groupSmile so another full day.  It should be pretty weather just as today, so another beautiful day!  I had a weekend of mental rest, after such a stressful end of last week, I feel mentality ready to face the challenges of being a Daughter of a mother with Alzheimer's, Wife, Nana, Mother, Friend, Sister, Aunt, Realtor, what ever I need to beSmile  sometimes we just have to take the time to refuel, destress, thankfully my BFF realized what I neededSmile We all have many hats to wear in our life, that is what makes us who we areSmile  Keep my dear friend’s Gene Beasley in your prayers, not sure you remember but he broke his hip, he is 90, I have known them all my life, mother and Luella have been BFF for over 50 years.  He did well, then fell again and now has staff infection, not looking to good for him, Luella his wife just sat by his bed and cried and cried, she knows he may not come home, death is such a hard thing, I have thought a lot about it lately.  You work all your life and then one day your called home and you may have never even taken the time to do the things you want in life.  I hope I will never be like that, always take time for memory days, and never think you can not afford family vacations, it makes the memories that will last after your long gone, there is no price you can put on that.  I have gone on vacations that I know we did not have the money to do but we did anyway, I have done family times that I really did not have energy to do, but did them for memory times, it means so much to me to know my grandbabies will remember fun times with me, or my children have memories they will always have, there is no price you can place on memory days!  Well, so much for all my thoughtsSmile hugs and nite!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Bitter Sweet, Excited yet Nervous

My life will be changing, I am excited about it but yet nervous somewhat in case I do not realize what I am doing.  Mother has been wanting to have Kay or I around her more, she said the other day when Connie was there and I was leaving,” who was going to care for her?” I said Connie will be here, she said but I do not know Connie, of course Connie has been working with her as a care giver for over a year, I said, mother I will be back tomorrow, she said, well I guess who ever is here, I will just ask them to please watch out for meSad smile  I just wish I was with someone I knew. So many changes in mother, today she ask Steve to come home with him, he told her she would be soon and she said she wanted to live with us, now keep in  mind mother will not remember this within minutes, but it is shouting at me, I have to do something, she is just not feeling safe and secure any more.  I am not sure she will feel that in living with us, but I can only go on the fact she knows us, may not understand I am her daughter all the time but she knows she is safe and cared for.  My home is totally different form hers, mother has always been a perfectionist in her home, I am notSmile it is straight but lived in, I have a cat and dog, I try to keep a clean home but it is not spotless, so mother and her care giver will have to adapt, it will be harder for the care give who will come during the day, she is real germ conscienceSmile not sure how she will like the dog and cat, the cat is outside most of the time but the little Cali dog is 18 yrs. old and a mini dashound, moody in her old ageSmile  I just am not sure how much my life will change with mother living here, I have been told not to do that till the last resort, but if I wait till last resort mother will not even know me, and its now she is scared and needing me. So in saying all that, I want her here but do not want to give up my alone time with Steve, I am excited for her to live here, but anxious she will not like it,  I have her home for sale, the month of Nov.  I am just praying I am making the right decision and that this will help mother feel safe and happy, also stimulate her mind more, maybe slow down her disease.  Mother does well with activity and she enjoys going places,  so with all that said, please be in prayer for this time for her and all of us.  I thought I would wait till her house sales before moving her,  be there at nights, have Connie 9-4 daily, except for the days Kay or April is helping. It is so hard to know your making correct decisions and the best, I second guess my self all the time. I thought the other day that apparently Walt and Mother knew I could do this or they would not have left me in charge,  which is a real burden to carry,  I just know I cannot stand to see her cry or not want me to leave her, so I hope this is the right thing.  

I listed two good homes today and showed property,  I am still working on getting my apt deal closed, which is majorSmile  Business is slower right now, so a good time for me to have time with mother, plus with care givers I can still work, in which I have to do and want to do.  I actually love selling Real Estate, I could just pour my self in work if not careful.  Hannah is moving this week, Regina her M-I-L is helping them and April is going Saturday till Tuesday, I am actually not helping, and it is so hard form me, but will be with mother all weekend so April can go help Hannah.  Our church is doing a Harvest fest Monday night so Sunday after church we will set up for that, like I say not sure how all this will work but ready to trySmile  Kay has not felt well, she will see her heart Dr. tomorrow, she has had weak spells, so pray for her, Jill’s daddy JL has done well with his five bypass open heart surgery, he is already home, keep them in your prayers.  Have a lot of paper work to do for work so will call it a night.    Hugs and night

Saturday, October 22, 2011

He will quiet you with His Love!

quiets my soulThis was our church bulletin last week and it has meant to much to me, so many times in this past week I have prayed for God to just quiet me with His love.  This probably has been one of the most trying weeks in a long time.  I started the week tired from my high school reunion, which as I said was a wonderful time! So many life changing things have gone on, JL Weaver had his open heart surgery and has done well, had a scare when his kidneys not working, but he is better now. Had two funerals, another friend close to death. Steve and I decided since we are older more of our friends are older too and having health problems and some have started passing away, when your in your 40’s this does not happen much, but in the 60’s they do, not sure I was ready for that one.   I have had some personal issues that this scripture has been life to me this week, I have been angry,  hurt, depressed, wanted to defend my self, wanted to help my children with what they are going through but couldn’t, I prayed for God to quiet my soul with His love and I was able to keep my mouth shut. Prayed this for my family too. To think, He is singing over me blows me away, I love singing and love to be sang to, but to even imagine GOD singing over me just totally blesses me. It takes me being still and listening to His sweet voice and take in His love that quiets my soul, reminds me I am his child and He loves me.  When things on earth look dim, scripture says look full into His wonderful face!  There are so many things going on right now with me that I do not have the freedom to share since it does not just involve me, but I am hanging onto this scriptures for me and my familySmile Knowing God is faithful to complete the good work He has started in us all!

Thursday we took Olivia back to Van Buren, spent the night, loved seeing Max, Luke and Blake, Hannah and MarkWinking smile Hannah is moving so we looked at the home she is moving too, ugh…I would dread packing with four babies, but have done it before my self, its not easy but you do what you have to do.  Then Steve and I just drove and drove and looked at the countryside, trees, lakes, farms, then ended up at the condo, ate at Stringzbeans, which was so so good, they grow all the veggies!!!  You just have to eat there to know how good it is!  It’s a quiet and beautiful day and I am resting and listening for God to sing over me and quiet me with His love!!! hugs and hope you can hear Him sing over you too and quiet you with His love!sunset

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

whew a full week

Update on Jill's daddy, he made it through his surgery ok, so keep him in your prayers he is in ICU, Amelia is here and being her sweet self.  I was so amazed at her today, we were watching blue's clues, he said can you see the otter?? do you know where the otter is?? Amelia said, YES, right there! and pointed to it.  I could not believe at two that she can watch TV and totally know what is being said and answer it, but she can... we have to be very careful what we let our children watch!   Tomorrow Olivia will go back to Van Buren, Hannah has had all week with boys in school Luke being home, its not often she gets alone time with Luke:) They have found a home there and will probably make a offer.  I am just thankful Mark still has a job with the Post Office:) so are they.  I do feel better, had a great sales meeting Tuesday and property tour, even in the cold rain:) Worked today, Jenn helped with Amelia and Olivia was in school:) Then my sweet Jenn made dinner for us all, it really helped.  I did get all paper worked signed on the apt. deal, now pray it closes:) will fro sure be bathed in prayer and a answered prayer.  Not sue what the weekend holds, but I know it will be beautiful weather!  Race for the Cure is this Saturday:) planning on doing the walk::) Looking forward to listings and sells this next week!!race for cure

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

blog???? what is that??

I for sure have-not got any better at making time to blog! Not even sure where my last blog left off.  So much has happened.  work is slow for me, I need it to pick up, like right nowSmile I had a physical last week and my Dr. sent me to heart Dr. for stress test and echo of heart, who the heart Dr. had me do a heath catch for some irregularities, He was concerned with family history but not alarmed, so I did the heart cath a week ago last Monday, they were able to go through the vein in the wrist which by the way still hurts meSad smile  It was not a bad test just scary for me, all looked good, have a little narrowing but can be treated with meds.  It has taken me longer to get over the test then I ever thought, so its been a hard week for me. One reason I did not blog, could not type.  Hannah and Mark came wed. night for the night, Mark had MRI and has a ruptured disc in his neck and pinched nerveSad smile Luke is doing great, Olivia stayed here with us, she is in mother’s day out this week then will go home.  I had a wonderful forty year reunion this week end.090This is a Jr. High friend, she live in the Methodist children’s home and she would spend some holiday’s with us and nights, I have not seen her since school;(  Our reunion was such a sweet time and we all had church together on Sunday, our class mate Mike Pounders is a preacherchurch Parkview with Micheal Pounders 011 he had such a sweet and to the point good messageSmile  Mother has had a difficult week just being settled, been over there a lot this week, then Monday we did all her yard and cleaned, got her house ready for fall.120 mayfair 036 (Copy) It is on the market and I need it sold, it is totally to hard for me to keep up both placesSad smile  I will not move her until it is sold, but she is excited to live with me, when she remembers, most of the time this week she did not know me, so that has been depressing!  My friend’s mother passed away with Alzhemier's so it hit home real close in being involved with her during her mother’s death.  I just want to enjoy the time I have with mother.120 mayfair 016 (Copy) when she moves we will miss this deck.  I just love it, if I close my Apt. deal I am building us one here!  So pray it all comes together and will close. That would be major!  Jill’s daddy, JL Weaver is having open heart surgery this Wed, am, it is a five by pass surgery so keep him in your prayers, Amelia will come today and spend the night, she is almost two years old, Olivia will enjoy playing with her, then I will meet Jill near Jonesboro where har daddy is having surgery, they will stay in a house there during this time, which he is sick.  So many prayer needs, Jill’s sister’s father in law just found out he has aggressive cancer and need a miracle, so pray for him, his name is Mr. Billison, not sure his first name.  Thank the Lord we have a healing God!!  A scripture this week on our church bulletin said, God quiets you with his love, and I loved, loved that, I need to be quieted with his love, just let all the worries and cares fall into his arms of love as he holds me and quiets me.  I told Steve, I felt as if I was losing it some times, but then thought not sure how far I got to go to lose it, I may already have;0 might not be too far away place for me.  I do know I need to slow down and stop making any commitments for awhile, other then work and mother, that is a full time job Smile Took mother to Cracker Barrel for dinner Sunday, it was so much fun, she loves looking in that store!! the food was good….and we did not even do desert.  I have got to get on track with my eating, I gained nine pounds when I was in hospital for the heart cath, all the fluids! So I am am making a commitment to get back on my walking schedule since it is cooler and getting this fluid off, most is gone but my legs and ankles still have some, think it is what I am eating now….ugh….the price we pay to try to stay healthy!  It is a life style change for sure and when you change back you get the old results!!  Well best go and get ready for my day, glad I got up early and had time to chat. Love and hugs

Monday, October 3, 2011

A no pic post, but smiley faces!

Have had a good week, this Monday should start out better then last Monday, I sure hopeSmile Last week was busy with work, and very busy with mother, she is doing the same just had some needs this week that took timeSmile I think it was Wednesday that Steve and I went to where Sean is camping and hunting when he is not working, it was very pretty, its in the wild life area, has a lake and is a wooded quiet area, only forty five minutes away, but it for sure a man thing, unless you like bugs, maybe snakes, critters. Steve went down Friday and got a deer on Saturday, Steve is back there tonight so I am home, I have enjoyed my time, miss him thoughSmile when I talk to him, Sean had cooked potatoes and deer meatSmile two peas in a camperSmile  I have a busy week this week, tomorrow have a new agent I hired to train, then to list a home at 10am, then work on my Apt. deal, hoping to get it all lined out, get a loan ready to close, but I need more sells so please help me pray them in Smile All is going good with my family, April has a job at Vision Express in LR and loves it, she still sits with mother on the week end, mother loves her being there. Hannah’s, Blake got in school there in Van Buren, Olivia is on the waiting list, Blake is so ready and needs the challenge it brings! Alex and Jared went to Dallas for the Hogs game, living high on the hog in one of the suites at Jerry’s Stadium.   Mother has been so much more confused this week, I even check to make sure I had not messed up her meds, I have gone over every day, I hope it will be easier with her living here, tonight she was worried about her babies, she had thought Kay and I should be home by nowSad smile this disease is the pits to say the least, then when we talked she just laughed about it, so she takes it all in stride and I am going to have to learn to do that, it does not get betterSad smile   Kay spends tomorrow night with her, Kay is finally well, mother will enjoy that.  My emotions are up and down, still learning to cope with so many changes in mother and continue to try  to work with a happy face, in sales people do not really care if your having a hard day, its all about them, to be honest I have found my self the same waySad smile esp. with waiters. Need to learn from myself on this one.

This weekend has been good for me, I did nothing for anyone, just rested, I really do feel much better, my fyrbo had flared up, so rest is what makes it go away.   Best go get my tail to bed, its almost midnight, and I have a early daySmile hugs and nite