Monday, May 17, 2010

Monday barley hanging on today

Mother did OK at our home, we went to Kroger's then to eat and to church Sunday nite at Journey, she loved hearing Alex preach and loved seeing Amelia, I am realizing more and more each day that I will need to move her in with me sooner then I thought, so I am starting to make those preparations. It will be a little while so I have time to get ready, my room is large and has french doors out to a deck/patio, I will give her my room and it is large enough for her a sitting area, I have a flat screen we can put on the wall and her new chairs, when she is home she just drives her and me crazy getting into things, she never lets me sit down:( and she does not either, reminds me of when I was little, she was a perfectionist then and now since we got everything so clean, if you do not go look or figure out what she needs then she get frustrated, if you show any signs of frustrations, she feels insecure and embarrassed, I do not think mother is incompetent she can be sharp as a tack, she just has so much nervous energy and wants to clean, clean, now she will not eat right so you have to make her meals and sit with her to eat for her to sit there and finish her meals, I am talking to the Dr. about how nervous she is, she has just been though so much:( when at my house she settled down more because she does not feel she has to clean or cook, so pray for us to make the right decision. I am realizing I will need full time help, when your with her day in and day out and trying to work it really is too much for me, right now I have not got the help lined out but I will, as soon as I can get the time to do it. I want to continue to work and need to work:) financially, so far it has been so stressful juggling work and mother, cleaning her home and mine, its just too much for me. Today was a hard day, I am so tired, this is like having a new baby on your sleep:) tonight my April is spending the night and I came home, hoping to be able to work tomorrow all day, I listed a home tonight, it is real nice in the country and a acre and half, I have loans trying to get closed and a home to list wed. and property to show Thursday, so I need to be mentally ready for all this, plus know mother i cared for. Steve told me it was not a mistake Walt has me as POA that Walt knew I would care for mother as he has and make right decisions for her.......this is such a ruff time for me. In real estate I deal with the largest purchase a person usually makes and I have a duty to watch over the real estate needs for them as if it were my own, that is how I feel about mother. There has been so much to do with getting her home in order to where it is straight, less cluttered so she will do better, getting her finances in order to last her the rest of her life and just sitting knowing that I need to cherish every moment with her there will be a day when she does not know me. When I left today to go to work she almost started crying and ask when would I be back, I said a couple of hours and sure enough she was waiting counting down the minutes for me to get there, then I had to go list that house and left and told her it would be tomorrow before I got back but April would be there, she did not like that at all, she has been nervous today and irritable. Someone told me today to take a break.....I wanted to say how????? who will stay with mother, its not I think I am the only one, I welcome all the help I can get, but I know this load is mime to carry, with the Lord's help:) I hope I do not sound rude or ungrateful for my mother because I love her dearly, its just been a ha rd day and a eye opening week of what all I will need to do and be doing. I have Judy coming wed and thur from 10-2, then I plan on bringing her home with me for the weekend, the part that is hard on that is my home is not ready for her yet and she wants me right with her:) I for sure need some alone time and down will come, I have to believe that:) Her sister comes the end of the month and as much as I want to see Aunt Mildred and Sharon I may be so tapped out that I go to the condo and rest, I think I could sleep 24 hours straight:) ok so now I have had my sounding board....tomorrow I will be in sales meeting and getting files in order, then a meeting and open house at Chenalwoods condo's......hope I sell one tomorrow!! I do not want to be a debbie downer just saying it like it is:) hugs and nite


AJAH said...

God's mercies are new every morning. You taught me this. When the grace is moving...we have to follow where its going. I pray you have wisdom and ears to hear where its goes. I know you will. I love you so much.

Alex and Jill said...

We're praying for Mimi, as well as for you. My former boss went through this with her Mother. Maybe you could talk to her...might help talking to someone who is going through it too - see how she handled the care situation?

Love you!