Wednesday, April 22, 2009

How do we cope?

Well this morning I woke up with this on my mind and decided to blog about how I cope. Pam Cupples Ritche said to me yesterday, Linda do you feel you carry the world on you with everyone problems? How do you do it?? So I decided to share how I cope with my life and my family's lives and my friends life's when we all have problems:)
First off I Have learned some coping skills that work for me:) I do believe the Lord has given me the gift of counsel, and I used that gift daily and when I worked at Living Hope Institute a Christan psych unit at St, Vincents Dr. hospital, back then it was Dr's. hospital. In my own life I as many others had suffered abuse and I had a lot of counsel and healing of my child hood, so that weakness became a strength in my life to where I could help others. In working at Living Hope it is all good to have a gift but they need credentials so I started working on the quickest way to get certified and that was getting my substance abuse credentials, it takes about 5000 hours and passing the state test to be a CSAC, which is a certified substance abuse counselor. Now this is not my area of choice, my area of choice is depression, sexual abuse,physical abuse, everyday stress of life, etc. My favorite patient would be someone who does not see any reason to live any longer, they usually have tried to take their life and failed. There is no doubt in my mind of how they will be healed and have a reason to live!! BUT HOW DID I LEARN TO COPE?? when working at LHI I heard so many people's pain and sometimes it would be unbearable for me, I would drive home and just cry my heart out for them, then one day driving home I was at 630 and Broadway, I was stopped at the corner and I was bawling, I was praying for the patients and just said God I do not think I can do this any longer, and I felt Him take their loads off of me, I was refreshed but still had them on my heart but was not burdened with it, a new insight for me began, after that every time I felt the load of someones pain I took the time to pray and give it to the Lord, He took it and strengthen me to continue. I can remember sometimes hearing someone in so much pain from the things done to them and they being so distraught and praying for God to touch them in the midst of their pain and He did, He took it from them. I know God did this over and over for me in my healing journey and He still does:)Sometimes if it were to much for my mind to conceive I would have to talk about it with another therapist to help unload it off me. Like when I saw a wreck in front of Cap' D's and the man and young lady were going 75miles per hr and on a motorcycle and a car pulled out in front of them, that scene stayed with me for awhile and affected me, I had to talk through it with others who could hear it and get some of the shock off of me, this is a way to cope with traumatic things, just make sure you talk to the right person, they need to know how to handle it too:) SO when I found out my dear friend Edwanda was so bad, I still had to teach a class and meet with clients in real estate, so how did I pull my self together so I could function, I did not have time to get alone with God, class was in three minutes....I have learned another way to cope, I stop take a deep breath and set the emotion aside, I have to totally re focus on something else, such as if I am at a funeral I may count the flowers until I gain control, the day of the class, I counted some paper work and then took a deep breath and pray for God to help me set it aside and I taught my class, all the time this is on my heart but I have control of my emotions. NOW you do need to get some time alone and go back to those feelings and sort them out, cry them though OR you will get sick, you can not keep emotions bottled up for too long, THEY WILL COME OUT!! and when you least expect them too:) Some say this is a form of disassociation and it is, but this is how I cope:) I always take the time to be alone and pray and deal with them so they will not bottle up in me. SO this is how I do it, I find my strength in the Lord and He is my rock, when my heart is over whelmed I go to the ROCK that is higher then I!! In my life I Have had some major blows that knocked the wind out of me, such as when Steve almost died form a leg infection, when Alicia was 18 and had cold spots on her thyroid and had to have it removed, when Jared was 18 and had cancer, when we lost our first grandson who was born premature, when divorce hit my children's life, when I had acute pancreatitis and they told me twice they thought I had Kidney cancer, when my mother was and is diagnosed with Alzheimer's, when my sister had brain surgery for a aneurysm, when my brother had kidney cancer and had it removed...there are so many things in life we go through that makes us who we are today.........so there you have it, I have learned that happiness is a choice and we do have to learn to cope with what ever life gives us and trust God that He will be our strength and give us fresh mercy EVERY morning and HE DOES!!!!! When I cannot cope I have learned to ask for help:)) Have a great day!!

1 comment:

Hannah or Mark McGill said...

This is a really good post, I enjoyed reading it, I learned some stuff. Love You Mamma