A cloudy day

You would think today would of been wonderful with a closing;) but it was just another day, I have not felt good all week, I think I may be trying to get sick, this week has been hard for me, I can see mother is having more problems with her Alzheimer's, I realized the estate sale was this week end and in my mind I had it the last weekend in Aug., for all I know this may be the last weekend:( I had planned on Kay and I going though it one last time but that did not work out, it sorta crept up on both of us. I did go by and get what Kay had ask me to get, I just cannot go back in there, I want to pick it all up and bring it home and I know that is not the answer either. Its just so hard to see things that at one time had memories for mother and Walt and to know Walt is gone and mother does not remember....just so sad.....Life......you know we hang onto things that one day will not mean anything to us, once your gone, your gone and then its up to who ever to dispose of your things, just sad. On the bright side of it all, mother will make some money off it all:) Guess you can tell this has me down in the dumps, I am trying not to have a pity party, so bare with me:) Tonight I did go to Celebrate at church, it was uplifting to me and had some time with the Lord in worship, God will see us though this, I will be so glad when that house is sold and its behind us, pray it sells this weekend. One more time to clean it up again, I feel like that house totally drains me emotionally. I just need it sold, so does mother, she just does not know it:) We are having her back deck covered, she will so enjoy it, they just about have it done, I will take pics of it and her flower bed in the back, it is looking real good:) Mother did know me today:) that made me feel better, she did not know me when I had been gone a week and this was the first time she has not known me, I realize as time goes on this will happen, I was just not prepared for it. Tomorrow I do not have a real busy day so try to clean my house and rest up some to feel better, I did go to Dr. today with a specimen, I need antibiotic but he has to know which one to put me on:) by the time they figure that out I will be well....I hope:) Kay is at the condo with Peggy and Maria was there for a night, this is such a hard time for them in missing their dear friend who past away suddenly, Beverly, Kay is hanging in there, I am sure this weekend will be hard with mother's sale, thankfully our hope is in the Lord and He is faithful to us:))) I do not know or can even image where I would be without the Lord on my side:) Well going to bed, keep my April in your prayers, she is heavy on my heart, she is doing ok, just my heart is heavy, Alex and Jill leave for vacation so pray for them, all other children are in normal routine:) Tomorrow will be a brighter day!! hugs and nite