Feeling sick Sunday

So much for the theory plenty of rest and fluids and good food help you stay well, I have been at the condo since Thursday and very rested, went to bed at 8ish last night and woke up sick with fever,chills and headache! Whats the deal with that???? Yesterday I started sneezing a lot but felt fine, then felt tired last night and went to bed, slept all night and dreamed this am I was sick and achy and when I woke up I was, not sure if dream was when I was awake or asleep!! The ladies are all still asleep, I sure hope I do not have the flu and I hope none of them get sick....this is a drag:( This weekend has been a real blessing for me, in the past it was the norm for me to share or pray with or minister to people, but just as I have said before in my blog I without realizing it shut all that down in my life. I was some what nervous in sharing with the ladies this weekend but was excited at the same time. God is doing a fresh work in me and I am seeing more and more how I have shut down His work in me. Not sure I am all there yet but I am a lot closer then I was:))) Hummmm......I am wondering and thinking why I shut down the works of God in me???? I am not sure all the reasons but it started when we left our church we had been in since 1976, I had raised my children there, it was the stable part of my life, I had 25 years old friendships there and still do:) but for what ever reason God decided to send me and my family down a different stream, as we left the church a group of us met (70ish) at the SBC building for a while, not forming a church but seeing what direction we would go, everyone found church homes, I decided not to go or commit to a church, I still felt very connected to the church I had left, although I knew I was to leave. There was a lot of hurt and heartache in leaving the church and my life long friends, things were said that I regret and have sought forgiveness for and I have been apologized too. I let all that go but with out knowing it shut out meeting new friends and ministering to God's people. Sure I prayed and if you called and ask me to pray I would and I loved the Lord with all my heart BUT I stayed at the lake most Sunday's and never made a commitment to a local church. My son Alex and his wife Jill started Journey Church with Jill's brother Cary and his wife Sarah, Steve and I went there, I felt this is where we needed to be and made a commitment to be there in my heart, I felt a part but did not feel apart, if you can understand that. When they started meeting on Sunday night I started going to Mercy Cross on Sunday morning and went on their ladies retreat, this is when the Lord began showing me I had shut HIM out of some areas of my life, the sad part is those areas are what give me life and I love:( so I of course ask forgiveness and told the Lord once again I was ready for Him to use me where ever He wishes to use me:) God is so faithful, when we pull aways from Him he never leaves! As I see today, which is dimly, I can see where I have missed being blest by allowing others to give to me and me to give to them. Its strange the people God moves in and out of your life, I want to hold it all the same, but he moves it all around:( I am learning to go more with the flow and stay venerable to the Lord in the area of people in my life, I am not yet ready to say move in and out who you wish because I miss the ones that have moved out still but I am ready to say I will trust you to take me and use me with whom you wish and I will listen to you and obey you even though I do not understand it all:) Have a great day, this has been a blessing of a weekend for me!! HUGS!