Blustery Tuesday

Today started early with sales meeting, property tour, and guess what? It was not raining!! YEA!! Its windy and cold outside and I love it!! I went to several Realtor open houses and the lunch with some agents then back to the office to show property and close on a home and teach the class, I got home earlier then I htought!! Already have my PJ"s on and eating some chicken and dumplings and getting ready to get in bed and watch tv and not think real estate! Then I will hit it again tomorrow:) I was thinking about Christmas, back in 1992, I always had the Averitt family ( Steve's brothers and sister and thier families) over for Christmas and then I had the Rogers family over Christmas day , then the Averitts over Christmas night, I did all the cooking for the whole meal, with the Averitts we did pot luck and I did the meat and bread, drinks, well that year I had a hysterectomy and the dr put me on hormone patches, he had told me to use two patches, I did that and had been for over a year, giving you that back ground in defense of my actions:) I had been working all day and came home and started to cook, this was Christmas eve, I was getting pots and pans out and I looked in the family room to where Steve and the boys sat watching TV, the girls were in the back of the house, I started crying and felt I could not get it all done and then I really statred crying and just fell apart, you know have you ever been afraid to cry becasue if you did you did not know if you would ever quit????? That is where I was at.....I just threw the pots and pans back in and told Steve I could not do it and I could not even do Christmas, of course THEN everyone wanted to help but I could not pull my self back together, I felt I needed some space and just be by my self with no one expecting anything out of me, SOOOOO I ask Steve to call everyone and cancel Christmas, I knew April was to young to even understand and the older children were old enough they should of been helping instead of driving me crazier:) I left and went to a hotel at 11:30 pm Christmas eve and had cried so much my eyes were almost swollen shut, sortta embarassing checking in on Christmas Eve, they felt sorry for me:(( Steve called his family and mine and told them we would not be having them over, I did talk to my mother who begged me to come to her house but I just needed away from any noise or anyone. so when I got in my room, I took a long hot bath and then went to sleep, I did call Steve and tell him where I was at:))))))) At 6AM he called me and ask did I want to come home for lunch they were cooking Christmas lunch, I first thought, what ?????call me at 6am????? but I did not say anything except I would love to and THEN he ask could his family still come over, I poliety said yes they can but I will not be home till it is all over, Steve said that no one would come and lunch would be ready about noon:) I went home and ate and stayed in my PJ's all day and had a great Christmas with my children and Steve.............. NOW most of my and his fmaily did not understand that, my brother said it was the most selfish thing I have ever done, but you know it was the begining of me actually doing the most inportant thing I could ever do in my life, that is realize I do not have to please everyone or be everything to everyone and someitmes the best thing to say is NO!! I went ot see my Dr. and my estrogren levels were off the chart, I was only suppose to take the two patches for a week and then go to one patch, so I was so toxic I have not taken estrogen again:) My family now will make sure we always do pot lucks for Christmas diiner or whatever we do. My sister would call the children to have them help so I will not cancel it;) and now we all take a Holiday in each person's home instead of all on me:) I am telling you all this to let you know that this year I have offered to have the Averitt's in our home, it is pot luck and then I am having the Rogers in my home this year, it is pot luck and I am so excited about it, its been a long long time:) My life is so different now, with just April here and of course Steve is a major help....he never knows what I may do, so he is afraid not to help:)) tee hee Not sure why I felt led to blog on this other then to enourage you to slow down and enjoy the Holidays do not push your self to the over load point, and if you do then just sit your self down and take a me break:))) because it is not worth it!! I hope your Holidays are peacefull and ful of family, laughter and peace and joy!! HUGS and NITE!! Now if I can learn not to shcedule so much in one day:) OK, spell check would not work so bear with me on this blog:)