Thursday, October 21, 2010

Codependent NO MORE

My messy bath room
huge deep tub, I wish I had one at home I could float in:)

my bed and all my things around me:)))

My breakfast....had the bacon and toast for sandwich for lunch, way too much food:)

This will be on life changes in me, I have had a couple of days to have some major quiet time, look at issues in my life and realize some major changes have taken place in me....thank you Lord! First off the bible says, we are to love others as our self, this means you have to love your self first, there is nothing wrong with that....if your codependent you will have thoughts of Put others first before taking care of you, give your self away to others where there is nothing left of you, its sometimes hard to know the difference between being a Christian and being co dependant, when we have thoughts of, I have little or no value, other people have the value, I have to help/please other regardless of the cost to me, so tired/exhausted/tense/, I must give my self away, if I have rights I am being selfish....the list goes on and on...what I want to help you with today is what I have learned in my are no good to others if you are tired/run down/exhausted from all your good deeds and you are seeking approval or self worth in your doings. Plus your family is who gets the brunt of your being to wore out to be a wife/mother/friend. If you do all the time for others and neglect your own well being/health. Ask your self these questions: Do you help/serve others out of free choice or because you find your own value in it? Do you seek to please people at your expense? Do you help out of a need to be needed and recognized? Do you react instead of act? Can you set limits and keep them? Do you expect your behavior to make you feel loved or accepted? Do you agree with others just to keep peace? Is your happiness bound up in what someone else thinks about you? By the way we are all co-dependent some what:))) None of us escaped it:)) Love your neighbor as your self not more then your self:) I was thinking about my last two days, I see a need in my life to have a Linda Lou Averitt day is what I call it, that is me having time with me doing what I want.....some may say that is selfish, when there are so many needs in the family around me, but I have found that it is a healing from codependent thinking:)) it my be selfish, but there is nothing wrong with caring for your self:))) I have made a commitment to live in relationships different then before, to do that I pursue it out of love, not being fearful of being rejected for being me:) I went to a high school deal last week, before now I would of never gone, I would of thought no one liked me, I would of thought I was not popular, I kept to my self and dated a guy who was not in my school so did not do school functions to often, was not in any clubs, mostly just rode horses and kept my friends who were in other schools, so class reunions have not been a priority for me, I really enjoyed seeing some of my class mates and guess what???? we all accepted each other:) Did they change??? no, I did!! The hurt that came from leaving our church I was in from 1976 and some of the things my friends and I have said, was very hurtful....for the past several years I felt I did not need church and did not give it the place in my life it should of been, who did that hurt? Me......I am now involved in two church's and have let go of the hurt,expectations I have in them so I can be me and give to others, love my church family again.....this awareness has come from my step study I have been doing, it is letting me see some things in my life I need to see and let God take and heal. It is exciting for me to have Linda Lou Averitt time, I have soaked in a huge tub, and just so relaxing if you have never done that:) I have had room service:)have shopped, been totally alone with just me and God and mind has been quiet, when your in a hotel room I did not realize how quiet my mind can be, no thoughts of house work:)) distract me:) I have read my bible, played on face book, prayed , slept late:))) updated my blackberry, read though all my step study and worked on steps.....just had a me time and I love it:)) I realize, I like me and being with me is fun:) Hope this will encourage you to have a ME DAY and not feel guilty for doing it!!


Alicia Jean said...

This was so good! You are always so honest and "out there" with all your is very encouraging. I can get so busy thinking I'm doing the "Christian" right thing and like you said, there's a fine line between that and being co-dependent. Thank you for being you...I'm sure you do like hanging out with yourself because we all love hanging out with you! I love you mother.

Jen said...

It is like you were in my mind today. I was just telling Jared that I feel like there isn't enough of me to get everything done that needs to be done. It is physically, mentally and emotionally exhausting. But, I'm doing my best and I take my few quiet minutes when everyone is asleep. With the girls and Jared's crazy schedule, "Me Time" isn't always possible. Thanks for reminding me not to get too overwhelmed. Love.