Hard Day

Amelia and Alex

Today started very early with Amelia having tubes in her ears, she did so good, she never cried, Jill and Alex did good too:) so did I:) then went to work, it is so frustrating to do a short sell, which means you have to deal with the mtg. company and jump though hoops to get anything done, I had three offers, sent them in then was told they needed to go to different dept., then told a different dept., in which each offer will take about two hours of paper work.....ugh!! I wonder is it even worth it, then I think of the seller, who lost his wife to death suddenly and his daughter was adopted by his sisters daughter due to the fact he has terminal cancer and can not even care for him self, his home is being foreclosed on......so sad, so I trudge on in the process, hoping it will work......for the sellers sake. Did some other paper work that I had put off because it is tedious and I do not like doing it:( Came home and called mother's care giver, she thought mother was afraid of her and not knowing who she was, I went over there and mother was in her bath room crying, she was so glad to see me, she could not express what was going on, which was frustrating for her, she just said nothing is the same and she is alone, she remembers Walt died and is really missing him....I just held her and cried with her and prayed for her, her little body was just shaking......just hurt me so much, not being able to fix it. We sat on the bed and talked, I listened to her trying to help her express what she was feeling, then we got a book out, it is then sings my soul, it is of hymn's, I sang them and she sang with me, she knew the words, to so many and loved singing, Faye the care giver came in and sang with us, of course we laughed at our self:) but it totally lifted our spirits, while we were singing, the fireplace men were putting in her gas logs, so they called us in the family room, he was showing us how to light it, and ask Faye who is 68 to get on her knee, so she could be down on the floor and light it, she did, before realizing she cannot get on her knee, she laid over on her back and was just dieing laughing, it was all too funny, she was not hurt, but mother kept trying to help her up, this made us all laugh, Faye was so funny!!! We all needed a good belly laugh, we all had tears rolling down our face!! Mother ended the evening real good. I think when she says he is alone, its just me left, she is realizing Walt is dead, she is having several times that she thinks he is coming home and will realize he is dead, so I guess its a part of grief.....just so sad to see her so helpless in this fight for her mind......please keep her in your prayers. I went to my step study and it was really good, helped me focus on the Lord and His promises:) but totally tired and have a full day tomorrow with 9am appointment in WLR, the listing appointment at 10:30ish then board meeting at 11:30is and then to store fro mother, it is suppose to start snowing int he afternoon.....I have already had my snow day so I am not that excited about another one;(( Steve and I were going to see his sister and her husband in Tenn. this weekend and then to Nashville to visit with Don Crossland, so not sure we will be able to do that...just play it by ear I guess, plus I hate not being here with mother, just not sure yet what we will do, right now I am going to eat and go to bed...this day 5 years ago Cameron went to heaven, my heart has been heavy for Susan and Derrick and Biff and Ann, I just could not live through that, I am so amazed at their strength and grace the Lord pours out to them....hugs and thank you for your prayers!!