Totally not prepared:(

Today Hannah and her family left to go home,was totally not prepared for my response, first let me say, I am not a crier, so for me just to cry and cry is really unusual for me, hold it in and stuff it, but today I just let my self cry, Steve held me and we both just bawled, felt stupid, but could not quit, then I started cleaning, so did he, we cried, cleaned, I thought its just OK, cry:) When I was in the room Hannah was in, I missed her and thought of just sitting down and feeling her, then I thought this is how people must feel who lose a child, which made me so thankful, I can go see her anytime I want. Then I just prayed for the Lord to fill me up, fill my cup, and make me whole, that He would fill the loss I was feeling and He did, Steve and I just kept cleaning, finally quit crying, then went to store and to eat, now home and enjoying our quietness that four hours before made us both cry..........emotions are so fickled!  All ready to go
I am so thankful for my family, they are mine and Steve's life, tonight I got a call that a friend in Real Estate lost her son in a car wreck, since I had just had that feeling in the bedroom, it let me know some of her loss feeling and wanting to be close to him, I just cannot even image the loss of a child, please keep her in your prayers, her name is Pam.  Put me into perspective.....
Mother has been doing so good these past two weeks, I am so thankful, this Saturday I have a wedding shower for Mary Lee, Kay's going to be D-I-L and then mother's day then Mother's birthday is Monday, we had planned to do something with the whole family but decided to wait since we had Easter with all of them, it may be too much for mother, not sure what we will do but we will do something special for her:)  April is at Hannah's this week so I will spend the night Sunday night and then if Luella is back in town maybe have her and Aunt Marie over for lunch :)  Kay may have some ideals too.  Well, guess I am going to watch NCIS with my sweetie......hugs and Nite