Happy Memorial Day!

Well its been too long, so much has happened it will be hard for me to catch you up! Work has been busy with Steve and I listing homes, then when you get listings, you get sales:) So we have been selling too! I have had some sad days missing my Cali dog, but it is getting easier, its a bitter sweet deal:( 
I am at a quandary on what to do for caregivers for mother, my main caregiver Connie has breast cancer and will have surgery next week, ( pray for her ) so that leaves me with one caregiver for 24 hours only. Mother had a fainting spell Sunday am, had to call 911, April was with her and did a perfect job in the midst of her scare, mother turned white and her lips were blue, she was in AFIB  EMT's said, we chose not to go to ER due to the fact all her vitals were good, hospitals are so hard with Alzheimer's.  Had home health come today, heart rhythm is still off, so we will see her Dr. tomorrow,  just watched her real close, with it being Memorial Day they were closed today. Mother has a DNR she did years ago, not that I think she is getting ready to  pass, but I do want to honor her wishes, and believe in them. But it made my knees weak to get that call from April Sunday.....will be glad to see what her Dr. says. She is feeling better tonight:)
Tomorrow is sales meeting day at work, I have a new agent recruit coming, then have work all morning, and show property in late afternoon, so hope to get mother into Dr in afternoon. Glad I have a sweetie pie Steve:)
Today I took some time to go swim with Alicia and Heather, Sherry came for awhile, it was hot but the water felt great!  Been a quiet but not uneventful weekend:)

Now ready for bed.............hope you had a good weekend!!  I missed all my babies, except Alicia, we usually do the lake deal with everyone:) Maybe the fourth of July we can:)  Been a lazy day, and for some reason I am wore out.............so nite!


One other thing April starts her new job at Baptist this next week, she is so excited, keep her in your prayers, she has school first:)

Disclipine

Have you ever wondered how God discipline's you?  On Thursday I was at a caregivers group and the speaker talked about this, he gave two examples of Discipline, one is where your have done wrong and the Lord corrects you in His loving but knowing way:) The other is where it is like helping you be disciplined,  if you have seen Facing the Giants, there is a football player who is crawling down the filed with another player on his back, the one crawling is blind folded, he thinks he may be able to  go two yards, the coach is by his side, saying go for it, you can do it, keep going, almost there,, the player is really in escalating exhaustion, the coach gets down on his knees with his mouth to the players ears, yelling do not give up, DO NOT GIVE UP! DO NOT GIVE UP! you can do this.........when the young man crosses the finish line, his blindfold is removed and he has past the field goal......this is how God is, if we were not blind folded in most things in our life we would give up, say we can not do it, but He only lets us know what we need to know for the moment, then when we falter, get scared, weary, he gets right beside us in our ear saying...GO! GO! GO! DO NOT GIVE UP! Then is His timing when we have done all, he opens our eyes and we can see the out come, then we began to understand Grace, Mercy, Strength comes form the Lord.......... He is our discipline!  Thankful He never leaves us or forsakes us, buts gets in our life with us and cheers us on!

If you have not seen Facing the Giants, you are missing a very motivating movie:)

This week has been busy with work, busy with mother and I did take Cali today to be put to sleep, so needless to say its been a whale of a week!

I have a Brokers meeting at our board office in the am at ten, then going to a caregivers group, then listing a home in Parkhill, then to see my McGill babies, then back to list a home in Lakewood and hold a home open Sunday:) I have caregivers starting tomorrow till Sunday at four.  Connie is staying Thursday and Carolyn Friday then Connie Saturday, I am so thankful, for them.  Connie can not work two nights straight it is too hard for her, you do not get the rest you need, so I totally understand,  I can not do four nights straight as I did this week very much longer either, I have been a little cranky, short fused:) mostly with Steve, but I hate it when I am like that. Last night when mother and I went to bed, I knew it was time to put Cali to sleep, mother is afraid of her some, and she frets about her, I have to start weaning mother to sleep by her self, to do that her door needs to be open and so does mine, with Cali she would go in and out and scare mother, Cali had gotten deaf and almost blind, itched all the time, so it was a matter of time for her, I still cannot believe I actually took her, during the night I was praying and felt the Lord said He would give me the grace to do it and He did, Cali normally is  afraid at the Vet, so afraid she literally poops, today she just sat in my lap and cuddled into me, her head near my neck, she did not shake and actually went to sleep while waiting, I know this was God's way of making it easier on me and I new Cali was saying she is ready, still very hard but was thankful for the 45 minutes we had to wait, I miss her tonight, I am so use to letting her in and out and feeding her, fussing at her for bothering mother, and making her get in her bed.  Mother never saw me cry, but she was sad today too, guess she can pick up on my sadness even though I am trying my best to not let it show.  She tuned up to cry twice today, I just cuddled her on the couch and said what is wrong? She said she did not know, she was missing something but did not know what it was, then what is wonderful with Alzheimier's you can redirect their thinking and they tottaly forget they are sad:)

Looking forward to my trip to Van Buren even if it is a very short trip, I sure miss those babies, will take pics:)  Be glad when school is out so I can bring them here some:) I am believing for Blue Sky's Coming My Way!!!  Hugs and Nite

Things are always changing

I wish I like changed, I usually can roll with the punches but lately have had a lot of punches:)) But trying to roll, I think I am my own worst enemy sometimes:)  Right when I thought things were more settled with mother, as you know April has a full time job at Baptist in LR which is a answered prayer, my other care giver Carolyn is wanting to retire so will work until I can find someone, I have twothat  I have interview they are wonderful but they do not have as much time as I need:( may use them some to get by but will be looking for someone, until then just the the best I can. So need a lot of prayer and wisdom on what to do:) 
This week work is busy, I need to take Cali dog to be put to sleep but I have to do it on a day when I can grieve, which means I need to have some alone time, mother for sure would not understand, have to always have a smile at my house:) she knows when someone is upset. 
Listing a home tomorrow in Pleasant Valley and one on Saturday in Lakewood, both great listings, excited about them!  Going to see Hannah and babies on Thursday afternoon and spend the night, then home and back to work:) But I can not wait to see them and hold baby Luke!
Hannah put a video of him saying NANA:) 

Mother's day was good, April, Alex, Jared were a church, Sean had to work, Hannah was in Van Buren and Alicia at a ball tourney,  we took mother to church, she held Sydney, then came home and had lunch, a busy afternoon, mother was tired from it all,  when you take her out it causes her to be somewhat confused, she is content to stay home, so guess I will not be doing that much.  She did not even know she went, but some how she just gets fidgety once your home, which makes her a little irritable:( So hope I can get a caregiver so I can go to church:) I loved my bracelets I got from the Averitt D-I-L's and son's:) they are from Brighton, I love them, will take pics for you later,I got a new hat too that I totally love from Alicia,  then Steve and I went to Casa Mexacana for dinner. Well best run, just wanted to ask fro prayer:) hugs

Who Is Jesus to you?

When I was at the swimming pool in Fairfield Bay, a sweet lady came and ask if I would take her and her grand daughter's picture, in which I did,  the lady is from here and lives near the lake, we talked some and then she looked me in the eye and ask, "Who is Jesus to you?" In which I have never been ask that before, it took me by surprise, I was actually sitting by the pool praying working through some issues going on in my life, my answer was he is my everything, He is my next breath, I could not go another minute if I did not know He was in charge of my life, Jesus is my hope, helper, friend, deliver ,provider, peace, love, strength, I began to tear up, which is not the norm for me, I shared some of my struggles I was going through right then with her, she hugged me, then I said did I pass the test?????? She laughed and said yes you did:)  I sat back down in my chair and felt the Lord so close to me, maybe because I was remembering all He is to me, then I thought what a personal question to ask someone.  I am thankful she ask because it totally made my day!

You know last night we were eating dinner at Stringbeanz's they play Christan music, a worship song was on that I love, I was singing (under my breath) with it, then started talking to Steve and said a cuss word:( I thought Lord help, I can praise God in one breath and cuss in the next.......Steve said maybe when you get to heaven there will be a cussing section for you, I laughed, because I do not think God cares, its our culture that has cuss words, in some places a cuss word is not a cuss word, BUT regardless it says in scripture to let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth and in our culture cussing is unwholesome, so I think, Linda Lou stop cussing!!! The neat thing is God is God no matter what and loves me no matter what. Just wanted to share this story of this lady with you today.

My Cali dog is about ready to go to doggie heaven, I probably need to put her to sleep at this point but have not had it in me to do it, I will miss her and be relieved at the same time. So say a prayer about that. She has lived a long good life, just getting old:( she has bad days and I think I have to do this, then she will act like a puppy, then  I  think she will last a little longer......and so it goes, she is deaf now and can barley see, but she gets around ok, just slow and old.....guess I will have the Grace to put her to sleep or she will die on her own.


April got a job at Baptist Health today, so answered prayer for her, she will be full time and have benefits:) YEA!!! for her. This will let her know if health care is the career she wants. Excited for her.

Alexandria drew her first picture today in her Art class that she just started in school, an you believe this!!!! She has a talent for sure to draw! So amazed.....
Hope you have a good day and Who is Jesus to you?  hugs

Happy 80th Birthday Mother

 Mother does not look her age:)

May 9th. was mother's birthday, I would of loved to have all the family over to celebrate it, but knew mother would not enjoy that many people at one time, it is very confusing for her, if you place your self where she is for a minute,  image your in a room of people, all talking, kids playing, people laughing and you do not know them, but they act like they know you, you smile, but the noise gets to much.  You do not know how to get away,  your not even sure where you are, then people ask you questions that you have no ideal what the answer is, but some how feel like you should, so you feel embarassed, they hug you, kiss you and you wonder do I know them?????  You finally see someone you know but not sure how or who they are, you reach out for them to let them know your ready to leave.......your own party:((((    This is why I did not plan a big party, glad we had one at her 70th., that she really enjoyed.  Instead I ask Kay and Colin to come over, we had homemade soup and cornbread, Jennifer and the girls made Birthday cup cakes for mother, we had that for desert, I had worked all day till five so I was so thankful for Jenn:) I had made the soup eariler. We had a fun meal, mother ate all her soup and a piece of corn bread:) all her cup cake and ice cream:)  I had fun setting the table and making this day special for her, she had fun too!

Mother is doing well physically, she is so funny, she loves Steve so much, it is getting easier for her living here, I am adjusting to all the changes, sometimes its still hard when I am tired and want to just get up and go to bed, cause I have her to care for and get her to bed, then sleep with her, but like today, when we got up she hugged me for a long time and just thanked me for taking care of her and being with her, she was able to express her thoughts and they made sense for about ten minutes, those moments make it all worth while. I am reminded all the time that as I care for my mother I can never care more then she has for me:) This was April's last week, it has gotten to hard for her to care for mother, I still have Connie who I do not know what I would do without and Carolyn one day a week, mother loves them both, they are older and have a lot of care givers expeirence:) 

Please keep Sean in your prayers, this looks like it will be a full blow court hearing for the divorce and custody of Cole, Sean's heart is broke, mine hurts too.  Keep April in your prayers, she will be looking for a job, I pray she just hears what God has for her life and how faithful He is to her. Alicia is still grieving the lost of Haley Lawson and carries the pain with Heather Lawson, Hailey's mother, they are like sisters, so pray for her and Heather, the rest of my babies are doing ok. I have ask ya'll to pray for Gavin, there is some more hope he may not lose his eye ball, which is a direct answer to prayers, so please continue to pray for a complete healing of his eye.

Well best go to bed, and pray abut all this my self...hugs

Oh what a beautiful morning!

 Mother telling them how to do this:)

 Some of my Averitt/Haley girls

Wonder what mother is thinking, she remember base ball from when her brother's played in a field behind their home:)  The wind had blown her hair, but it felt so good:)

Little boy mother talked to, Jack in back gorund with Bob coaching him on his swing:)

The weekend was so much family fun, Saturday we got to go watch Jack play ball, he played at Sherwood, first time out with  mother and the wheelchair, sure was nice:) It is always difficult taking mother anywhere at this point, but it was a pretty day and we wanted to see the game, I did not have care givers, so I thought, what the heck we can always come home if there is a problem:) They say to live in their world, they are happy being home in their same environment/routine, I will think, gosh! she has been in the house so much a change scenery will be good, not always the case with Alzheimer's people:( but today this was good, she loved it, she looked at the player in the dug out cage and said. " Do you want me to help you get out of there?    He looked at her funny, said he was ok:)  I said, this is where they stay till it is their turn to play:)   she was not sure of the cage deal......but loved watching them so close.  Came home and went back to the normal routine:) She was tired but the sun shine was good and the breeze was wonderful, of course mother wears a jacket all the time, but I got it off her at the park:)

Then Jenn and Jared cooked out and we went over there for dinner,   Alicia and her family came, mother stayed home with April, April is one of my caregivers:) Dinner was real good, being with my babies is always fun!
Sunday am was a difficult time for mother, Steve and I were ready for church, April was caregiver mother was having a difficult morning, we just had  to stop, redirect sit down have breakfast with her, she was insecure, Steve always can make her feel secure, he hugs her, tells her all is ok, if anything is wrong he will take care of it:) she thinks Steve is Walt or her daddy most of the time, she did not know me right then, so I was not a lot of reassurance. This morning she cried, which she has not done in a long time, made me so sad.  The wonderful thing abut Alzheimer's is when redirected she has no memory of it, the rest of her day was great, not sure what was going on,  we were able to go on to church, late but the msg. was just for me, I cried all the way to church, wondering how to help mother and doing all I know. I dread the later days of this disease. The msg. was on Joy, consider it all joy my brethren when you encounter various trails, it helped me totally depend on the Lord for my help:) Just redirected me:)))) 

Mother had a good afternoon, after we finished work, Steve and I came to the condo for some me and him time, was a  busy week, then home to get back to work, Real Estate has slowed down some for me, probably because of vacation and being home with mother last week, so this week I got to hit it and get some things going again:) Even in that I am giving it to the Lord, He has always been faithful to me!! I was looking out the window this am at the condo and the trees are so pretty, they were blowing, you could hear them,     I thought I wish Had this view at home, then had another wish, then thought make your wishes come true, you cannot just spend your time wishing but you have to act, work to make your wishes come true, nothing just happens, God uses us our physical bodies to make things happen:)  On the wishes that can not come true, then find Joy in them, I can wish, pray for mother's memory to be normal, but it isn't so I have to find Joy in where we are today and hope for the future, but some wishes can come true!!!  Going to be a full week of work, then visit with Hannah and her family the end of the week, can't wait! hugs and make this day a Good day!

Good Week

 Chicken/dumplings,corn,fresh cabbage, fresh squash casserole, fresh black eyed peas,home made mac and cheese, corn bread, sliced vine ripe tomatoes and ice tea! Alicia and Sherry Maxwell came by to eat:)

 Home and veggie/beef soup and corn bread

 swimming with some of Averitt girls

 Amelia decided to spend the night with us, we had Max's t-shirt for PJ's:)

Amelia said we can have a picnic, so we did:)

This week has been better then I could of thought it would be:) It always stresses me some when I know I do not have care givers, one I am not sure why, but two I am not sure I can do it for that long and have the patience needed.  But God has been faithful! Wed. I cooked all the veggies I bought at the market, we had the best meal for lunch, dinner and all week long! Made soup, then made Lima beans and some peas called sweet peas, not English, never had them before but they were yummy! So needless to say, we have ate good all week and the house smelled so good! Thursday April came over to sit with mother and we went to home group, made baked beans and more home made mac and cheese, I love my Journey Church family they mean so much to me.  That is when Amelia came home with us, the other Averitt girls decided we needed to do a Averitt girl sleep over:) so I will have to do that, with mother here I could not bring them all or I would have:) Steve would of been out numbered:) But I am planning a KOA camp ground night in the camper with them! Or we may go to condo, the pool is open there:)
Steve has pick up the slack with work since I have been home, work has been busy too! While home you would be proud of me, I did get so much stuff cleaned out and out in storage, you can actually walk in my closet now and for sure Steve's office! Today the lady who cleans for me was to come but my head hurt to bad for me to get it all ready in time and be out of the house, we had planned to go to Hot Springs to pick up hanging baskets, but what I love about me, I can just change as easy as I can make them:) So we took the girls to the pool with Jenn and Alicia, then I got to come home and take a nap with Amelia:) had some delicious pasta salad for dinner that Jill made, so I did not cook, it was perfect for a summer time day!  Just got mama in bed but she is up again, so guess I need to go get in bed with her:)  She does better when I am in bed with her:)  She never sleeps alone any more, she likes her care givers or me with her:)  I still struggle seing her lose with abilitys she has to feed her self, you now have to help feed her, I just try to think of all the funny monets she has and the love she gives to us all......hugs and nite............by the way...was I on vacation last week???????????

HUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Been home since Sunday, have had a busy week so far, we had Hailey's celebration of her life yesterday and it was such a sweet service, I just do not know how parents get through the grief of losing a child, guess its just God's special grace at the needed time.  I have had miscarriages and we lost Wyatt, I know in the loss of Wyatt my heart actually physically hurt, it was the worst grief, but it has to be much harder when you have had them here on earth with you, you know them have all their things in their room still.......has got to be Grace and Mercy form the Lord:)  Thank fully Heather and Scott know Jesus.  The weather is going to be really warm this week, not hot hot but warm enough:) Steve got the yard back in shape from us being gone for a week, took Monday to go through the mail and get bills for the month paid, glad I have him to do all that, I never pay a bill or even look at the check book or accounts, it is nice!  I am really gonna try to get on a budget, I am going to use cash at the store so I can stay on a budget and not spend money on anything extra for awhile, although I did real good will on vacation, I only bout a 15.00 swim suit cover up at walmart:) did not even go to out let malls this time.  Might have been more tempting if I had not just got my spring/summer clothes and shoes. 
Mother did great while we were gone, I have the best care givers, for that I am thankful:) This week my main care giver is off, she takes the first week of the month off, so its me till Saturday, I went to the farmers market and got so many fresh veggies, so I am cooking, cooking, cooking:) can not wait to eat all of it. Mother loves veggies.
I am hoping to go see Hannah next Thursday and spend the night, I miss those babies, then she will be here once school is out more.  That will be nice, we can get Max to spend the night, Steve misses him, he is his little buddy!
I plan to clean out our office today, we have all of mother's things in it from when we moved her here, just shut the door and act like it is clean, till you open it and see it all, so I pray I can get some much needed things packed away until needed, I need to do my closet too, I can barley find anything in it! I keep mother's so neat so there is hope I can do mine the same way!  Feels good to be home with no care givers here, even though I could not make it with out them:)
Well best get started cooking and cleaning! Hope you have a great day!