Thursday, June 28, 2012

Changes...WHO moved my cheese?

If you have read the book, Who moved my cheese then you know it is about change in your life, you have to go with change. This is so hard for me, I like things to stay the way they are, unfortunately that is not reality. When I was young I would be described as happy go lucky, roll with the punches, today I am not sure I am happy go lucky not sure inside I was then either, but I have learned to roll with the punches of life. I have had some that knock the wind out of me, like when Jared had cancer, when Walt died and I realized I would be responsible for mother. To totally have to start from scratch to figure out all with Walt and Mother, but I did roll with the punch's, with the Grace of God I go is my motto.

Last week as you know I admitted mother into the hospital, this was another episode that knocked the wind out of me, took days of grieving this dreadful disease of what has happened to mother, I could not do that with her living with me, always have to have a happy face on, I dealt with anger of things that have happened due to all this, then begged God for His Mercy to face the future in all this. I have quit crying and for that I am thankful, I did feel very vulnerable, not wanting to be around people, just stay home and safe, made my self go to church Sunday night, had it not been such a special service I would not of gone, but needed to go to get out of this vulnerable feeling, then went to lunch with a friend, dinner with Jared, in which I felt panicky during dinner, got so hot, I know these feelings from when I was younger and went through a emotional time when Sean had to live at a boys ranch, I did not realize that is what happened, but apparently when I really cry and get in touch with my self of what is going on, decide to work through it and not run, I with draw and feel vulnerable about being around people, not to good for my business:) with God's help I have pushed my self back to normal for me:) Ready to face the day with God's Grace. By the way this is normal behavior for anyone going though emotional times, it is your flight or fight response, I learned when I did this years ago to give my self a break and know it will pass and my body will go back to normal:) Thank the Lord!

Mother will discharge to Lakewood Plaza Nursing Home, I went to so many homes to decide which works best for mother, this is where Steve's sister was, so I knew the place, but did not think they had a bed, I went in and talked with director and knew this is the place Mother will feel more at home in. So when she is discharged she will go there for Rehab., if she does well there and gets involved in daily activities then, if I can she will stay there long term. I know I can go in and out daily, she has a private room and real close to day room which has a bird sanctuary, she will love, dinning room has table clothes, flowers, most important it is where I think Mother will do the best, it is smaller then the other homes I looked at, Mother can find her way around it:)

On a exciting note, Hannah and Mark will probably move back to Conway area:) I am so excited about that!!  Work is busy and I have maintained at work, with Steve's help-:)  I have several great listings need them to sell so pray they do:) Have loans in closing, I am being honored tonight by Sorrie Magazine for being voted in the top 50 Realtor's in Central Arkansas:) Excited about that! God has a way to keep my chin up by blessing me in so many ways:)  The interest rates are at all time low, homes are being shown and selling!! I have some Commerical deals too, that market is starting to move too, so I am ready to make hay while the sun shines, or should I say SON shines on me!!  hugs and have a GREAT day!

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