Today

This day started busy with work, then to take mother to her new Drs. at UAMS, it is the Center on Aging, Longievty Ctr. Steve was to meet me there, but got tied up on showing a property, so I had to get wheel chair and leave her sitting with attendant while I parked call, got me upset before the visit, but mother was fine, I just did not want her to think I was leaving her, they have a wheel chair assistant,  I was very impressed with Dr. Kohn, and the Social worker Beth Allen, we will have all our Drs. right there in that area.  I did get a order for our own wheel chair so I can have it in my car and wheel her from there:) What I was not prepared for was my emotions that went with this visit, I guess it was the finality of it all, knowing mother is in last stages, knowing she has gone down hill, mother could not walk her self in anymore and had a accident while there,  everyone was so wonderful, there is a total difference with geriatrics specialist then reg. family Drs.,although her dr. was wonderful, he said mother was needing some more specialized in what she needs.  We will also see the Psych there at UAMS, the Social Worker and Dr. Kohn, he changed some of her meds, wants to cut back on the zanax and gave a different pill at night.  The Social workers mother past away two years ago with Alzheimer's, Steve and I neither one were prepared for the raw emotions we had, we did hold our self together, but barley. Mother was her laughing self, she is normally very happy, which makes this bearable for me.  I think today makes me see reality of what I have to face, the Dr. wants her back on the Numenda, he said it will help, mother forgets how to walk right now , and other things that help her remain mobil, so he thinks we may see a difference in that, I sure hope so! Someone ask me today if it was easy with mother, and sometimes it is and sometimes I wonder how we will do it, my prayer is Lord please help all the time, and HE DOES! I  had Steve let mother ride home with him which was good, cause I cried all the way home and traffic was awful:(  Started to call and talk to my BFF but just needed alone time with God to gain strength to get though this, maybe next time it will not be so emotional for me, sure caught me off guard:(  Then had to pick my little 18 yr. old dog up at vet and she peed on my car seat:(( UGH.......they are leather so I got it up, but after the accident at the dr, and the dog, I was on over load with cleaning up messes. I had to go to the store today and get groceries and meds. got home a promptly dropped a jar of applesauce on the tile kitchen floor....ever have a day like this?.... I know we all do at times, so I thought, ok Linda just settle down, enjoy the laughs of mother, I made tuna sandwich's for dinner and decided to enjoy the rest of the night, mother and I are ready for bed:) Tomorrow is a full work day, had one deal fall out today and one may fall out tomorrow....but I do not want my buyer to buy something I am not sure if it is a good deal after inspections, the other one did not appraise and the seller will not go less on price........so pray for my business:)  Still have some in closing and getting new listings, which I need:)  hugs and hitting the bed with mother, praying for a peaceful nights sleep:) hugs and nite