My life:)

November 30th was the big Wedding day for April Rebecca Averitt and Seth Harris! 

  It was such a fun wedding, it would not have happened with out Alex and Jill, Jenn and Hannah came through like troopers!! I am blessed with my children in all their help! 

 





April and Seth dated five years, had planned to marry many times, but the timing was  not right , this time Steve and I knew God had them ready for marriage.  so very thankful.  I was totally wore out form all that to leave the next week end for Eureka Springs for our company Christmas Party, and a weekend of fun festivities it was!

 Byron and Marilyn McKimmey's home is Eureka, they had Limo's bring us from all expense paid hotel room and weekend.

 Rear View

 Picture above mantle is Byron as a baby with his grand father

 Deserts

 The town is so unique, caroller's

 Food

 Old fashion Christmas

Room with antique toys

 

This was such a lovely party and weekend to remember! I work for the most giving bosses!

 

We left there and went to Baton Rouge, My Mawmaw's husband Roy passed away peacefully and unexpected.  He loved my Mawmaw and all of us!

 

 

Menzie, me, Mawmaw, Gavin, Connie and Tiffany

Roy and Mawmaw

My beautiful Mawmaw

 Me and mawmaw at Pier one:) love her so much! Mawmaw is a strong lady, the Lord is her strength, please keep her in your prayers, and Gavin will have major eye surgery Dec. 24th, he needs your prayers.

 

 

 

We drove 1154 miles in that week, but it was all so worth it. love my Mckimmey family and my Simon's family!

 

 

This has been a very busy month so far, I decorated for Christmas yesterday, but have decided for the first time in my life not to put up a tree, we will go to Alicia's for Christmas and Steve and I are just to tired to go all out, we did not put up the lights either, makes me sorta sad but I now understand when people do not put one up. I never understood that.  Last night Hannah who is a coupon guru, sent me to target in Little Rock and I got ALL my Christmas for $120 dollars, I had a price match deal, 20% off coupon then cart wheel it, what ever that is, it rang up $859.84! I paid $142.70 and Hannah is buying back $22.00 for some of it!  It was such a answered prayer, I have been out money with the wedding, then trip, which was only gas, Connie and Larry are great host, but I have some upcoming expense.  As you know this has been a sad time for me too, I am still struggling with depression, I am having to go back through all mother's things to be ready for court with my nephew and sister and it breaks my heart, I am not worried about it just heart broken, then I have another personal issue that is private, but I am need of major prayers. Both have affected my health and I just need to get this all behind me and be ready for 2015! I think I will name it staying in alive in 2015!  Thankful ALL shopping is done and I have a wonderful family who love me!







Merry Christmas to all!







 

Almost December

Totally can not believe it is almost December, just does not seem real. Last year I had my house all decorated in November since we do Thanksgiving at Alicia's, but this year I have enjoyed my fall things so much, and my Pumpkin spice candle.  I have not even got a peek of Christmas out yet.....weird for me.

April and Seth marry this next Sunday, I am so excited, God has just done so much in both of them, we are thankful we get to be apart of their wedding, there were times she was going to marry when the timing was not right, but Seth could always understand when we ask them to wait, so its a blessing that it is now, they are both 24 and have dated since high school, broke up for a short while, but been back together for several years.  God is so good when we wait on Him and let Him do what work needs to be done.  If it were not for Jill I would be in a total panic but she has just helped me, she is the wedding coordinator:) and she is good at it! I am excited because Connie and Larry are coming, so some of my mother's family will be there:)  April has no grand parents left:(( 

speaking of that, we will have some of Walt's and mother's things in the wedding:)) I read a poem that said everything I thought while mother was sick, I want to share it with you:)

YES ... I CRIED
Each day I watched my mother walk,
I heard her sigh, I heard her talk.
She spoke of loved ones no longer here,...
I watched helpless as she shed a tear.
Alzheimer's was stealing my mother away,
and she grew worse each passing day.
She needed help with all her care,
from getting dressed to brushing her hair.
We’d cut her food to help her eat.
This once tidy woman was no longer neat.
She often seemed to live in the past.
Our daily prayer was, how long would this last?
As her memory went, I could only stand by,
frustrated and helpless, and yes...I cried.
Those who love her, she no longer knew.
how long till her memory was completely removed ?
Each day I watched my mother walk.
I heard her sigh., I heard her talk.
I watched daily as she slowly died.
I couldn't help her, and yes...I cried.

©2009, Jerry Ham

such a wonderful poem that really says it all.  I miss her all the time, I am just so thankful she no longer has Alz. but happy in heaven:)

Keep Erma in your prayers, my brother's wife, she had a virus that left her dehydrated, went to ER, to find out her heart was quitting, so she had surgery and had a pace maker, she is home now and recovering, she is doing good.  This should help her feel so much better:) You never know, had she not had the virus they would not have known, and her heart would actually quit, she was pass out/faint like, but did not know why.  She is such a wonderful person, always doing for some one!

My sweet brother and Erma

The McGill's will be here Wed. night, can't wait, then Wednesday we have our McKimmey lunch for Thanksgiving, we feed about 300 people at our office, always

nice to see people we do business with, we have done this for years.

Then Thursday family dinner, Friday I may do Christmas, Saturday decorate for wedding, rehearsal and dinner then  Sunday big day for sure!!!  Monday Dec. first......I will be ready for a break, in between all this, I work, but I have four legs and fur arms:) Steve is always right there helping me!
Now I have made my self nervous wondering how we will do all this, I am tired! Got my self all worked up before bed, hope I can sleep and hope you do too! love and hugs

November and almost December!

I just cannot believe this is almost the middle of November......so many things going on in my life, good things, hard things but all stressful.....not sure how much more stress I can do.  I sang to Sydney several times the past few days, I can do it, I can do it, if I stick to it, I can do it, I can do it, yes I can!! Teaching her in a positive way to keep trying when she gets frustrated. But there is so much, like planning April's wedding in the next 20 days, then not thinking I decided to have open house today, since Jared was, I actually felt faint in getting it ready and putting the sign up. My sweet friend Sherry Maxwell said to me last night, do you think this is what you should be doing with all you have going on?  What if it sold, could you move?  The answer to her questions are no, I think it would totally put me over the edge. I went ahead with open house since it was advertised, we did have a good open house and so did Jared. But at four pm when the time was up, I took my sign down......I think Sherry is right this is just not the right timing for me to sell.  One less thing to worry about:))

I had my sweet Sydney from Thursday till Sat. afternoon, I just loved it, I just needed all that loving and laughing at her:) One thing that I still love to do is be a mother/nana...we went to the condo so she had my full attention and I had hers......I wish I had time to be with each grand child alone for two or three days:)  Bright spot of my week for sure!

Have a full day tomorrow with work and putting out some fires in real estate, then meeting with April to firm up some plans for her wedding. I can not wait for bible study tomorrow night, it is on Hope!!

I am dreading the cold rain Tuesday and cold front, guess I need to make some chili and soups:))

Hope all is well with you and yours, Tomorrow is the day my daddy past away, been 42 years, he was 59 years old when he died. I do not still miss him like I do my mother, but I am thankful I will be with them both again!  On a Happy note, It is my Mama's Birthday tomorrow! She lives in Baton Rough, I plan on going to see her the second week of December:))) Can't wait!! hugs and night

Blogging my thoughts................wedding bells

On some good news, Miss April Rebecca Averitt will Marry Seth Harris Nov. 30th. at 4:00pm.  This is a total answered prayer and a God thing, if you know me then you know the story on this:) Steve and I are excited we have not planned anything yet except the date, so April will be back in town this week and we will need to do some planning, with her it will just be simple and sweet. Then all my babies will be married:) Lot of moving going on, Jared and Jenn have their home for sell. Sean and Sarah are buying a home, Steve and I are about to list our home for sale. April and Seth will be moving into their home:) So a lot of changes!!!

I had a wonderful weekend with my high school friends, much needed, we always feel safe to share our hearts, laugh, cry, wonder why and thankful for why not.

 We had a great weekend. 

When I got home I was running a fever with cough so that set me back some, seems like it is hard to stay well right now, so pray for me.  I am struggling with the death of Beverly and how it changes everything I do no in Real Estate.  But trusting God to help me:) I have at least quit crying so much.
Well no one likes to be a Debbie downer so lets get on the positive side of life!! I am starting to take control of the way I eat and exercise, Steve and I are starting to work out and eat healthy:) I take all kinds of vitamins, so does he, we are ready not to feel 60's:))) 
I love this time of the year, the Holidays are always so family filled for us, Thanksgiving will be at Alicia's and Christmas at Sean and Sarah's new home, if all goes as planned:)  We will go on a Company trip the first weekend of December:) to Eureka Springs for the McKimmey Christmas party, then go see Mama and Roy and Connie and Larry and Tiffany in Baton Rouge for three days. We always took mother in December and I sure want to see mama and Roy while their well:) Then just home to enjoy Christmas! 

The real estate market has been slow, I am making calls to stir up business, if you know of anyone needing my help have them call me:) I am praying for a busy November and end of the year:))  I am also praying I find resolution in some personal areas in my life.  Its exciting to think of moving, not knowing yet where too, but I will know when it  is time:) I want to cut back on the things that distract Steve and I, as we get older, esp. Steve being disabled the yard work is hard and the up keep, so looking for something easy:)) More and more I focus on the fact that life is so short, I want to live it at my pace and enjoy it the best I can!! I love what I do, and enjoy working with Steve side by side, drives me crazy sometimes but I still love it!!  I pray all find something to be grateful for this Holiday Season!! hugs

Life will go on, one step at a time

It has been a week since Beverly's death, we had our sales meeting today, made it as positive as you can make it, we had good business this past two weeks:) There will be some major changes in the way we work, to make our seller's more secure and the agents more secure....its ashamed a  tragedy has to happen for us to realize how unsafe it is.  We have not let this paralyzed us but awaken the level of security. Pres. Clinton said today, there is nothing that can hold us back, but us, which I liked, the more educated we are in safety the more confident we will be and safer we will be:)

April who is my  youngest did move out Sunday, it was a tearful time, we helped her move her things to where she will be living.  Felt like what my friend once said, your throwing a gold fish in the ocean:(  My home is very quiet with just me, Steve and Lovie, but we are adjusting to it, not that April was really loud for those who know her, but just knowing not to leave the light on for her, or seeing her in the mornings, we miss her.

Getting my home ready to go on the market, not sure where I will move yet, but you know me, home is where I hang my hat.  It has been slow going on Jared's house next door, but it will sell, just needs the one buyer:) 

Last night we went with His Church, Pastor Sammons to see Left Behind, it was a good movie, I am so very thankful I will be one of the one's to vanish, if you have not seen it you should, its a intense movie, yet simple....just know your Bible:)  When you go through the last week like I have you appereciate the song, Give me Jesus!

Well got to go to Bryant to show a home, and put a sign on Alicia's new listings so best run:)  Excited to watch NCIS tonight:)    HUGS

Who, what, where and where am I?

This is probably the most take my mask off blog I will ever write, I woke up crying over what Beverly endured, this has shaken me to the core of my belief's. Beverly was a strong women of God, she went down to the alter praying and praising the Lord at church a few weeks back, God was her strength, her provider, she had five loans fall out in Sep. so I am sure she was trusting God for her income. Her precious husband held his hands to the Lord during her service and her son's. begging God to see them through this and not let their hearts be bitter or harden toward her killer.   I have no doubt Beverly was praying for her killer.....makes me feel sick to even think that but that is who she was.  When I saw him coming from Jail, and he was hurting and looked like he was hurting, I had a twinge of feeling sorry for him that totally shocked me, I did not want that, I am angry at him. Makes me mad at me to have felt sorry for him,  I begged God to show us where Beverly was, looked hours upon hours, but no Beverly.  WHY?   I have always thought God will protect me and my family, Beverly thought the same, and yet this happened.......the only thing I can fall back on, is when the storms have come, in the middle I feel vulnerable, but in a few years I can see some good that came form the storm, such as Jared's cancer.  Even in that time, I wrestled with God, but there is a scripture in the bible that states, if I run where can I turn that God is not there?  He is either your hope or not, even though right now I do not understand Him, there is no doubt He is my hope and shield and next breath, I have no doubt you do not live though the evil in this world with out His strength nor would I ever try but I am letting Him know I need comfort and understanding.  I think of the persecuted church, I can not even fathom that.....just can not even wrap my head around it.  We do not live in a sweet little world, this world belongs to the devil, this is not our home and that is what I have to remember.  As I said I am letting my mask off, I am being sued by my nephew and sister because they believed I miss used mother's money, keep in mind mother lived with me, it took every dime to care for her in the way she was use too, and provide cared giver's for three years before her death, I am the one and Steve who cared for her day in and day out. Its funny how people want to know about the finances but never bother to help change the diapers or be up all night, it has broken my heart, totally torn it into. LIES the devil has used against us both. I have not spoke to my sister in over a year and I love her and her family dearly, I would of never thought this would ever happen, and yes its about the money, people can say what they want, but its always about greed and money. This is a painful as mother's death to me. I will be glad when it is all over, maybe my heart can began to heal her death and the pain of losing my sister through this all and my nephew and niece and their families who we all love.  My 23 yr. old daughter is moving out next week to go live  with her boyfriend in a unsafe area of 65th and Arch, neither can support them self, neither are walking where God has called them to walk.  It totally scares me for her. Begging God to change her.  Other problems with my  children  that I am praying for that are critical.....just so much evil in this world.  SO many things of the world to get our focus off God. I am telling my self now and daily, minute by minute, I am strong in the Lord, it is Him who I will trust, though all around me give way my trust will be in you God my Father, you have always seen me through so many crisis and I know you will see my though all this. Help me let my heart heal and trust gain, heal my family, strengthen the Carter's to continue lifting their hands to you, my hands or lifted up, I surrender  all to you, these are your children and I am your child and I know you love me, even though I have realized you may let harm come my way, you love me and will give me grace to walk in the steps you have ordered for my life.  Jesus I will trust you no matter what.  When I cry I know you wipe my tears away, when I doubt you, I know you love me any, when I get mad at you I know your patient with me, when I need you I know your always there. Be there for my family and make sense of this all and be there for the Carter's. I love you Lord Jesus. Praying in  your sweet name Jesus, Amen  People say I have the perfect family and I do, we are just like all the other families with their own problems, I just hope they know Jesus to see them through too.    I pray they are as close to each other as mine and lean on each other for strength, God has totally blest Steve and I with a special family and I think Him for that.

In Honor and Memory of my Mother

It will be two years of her passing this Sept. 28th, which is so hard for me to believe, I miss her all  the time.  My mother changed my life.  I never thought of the day when she would need me to be her caregiver growing up. When that day comes it changes everything, I would not change one minute of it, I cherish the wonderful nights I slept with her, would wonder and beg God to help me when I thought I could not do it for one more minute, thankful for my husband Steve who loved her as much as I did and cared for her as his own mother.

I am ever so thankful that we will be together in Heaven.  Upon mother's death she was ready to go, she had fought the good fight. I will always treasure her last breath, as she gazed into Heaven and had the brightest smile, one last look at my sister and I and she walk into Heaven's gates.

Alzheimer's steals everything about you, it leaves you helpless, totally dependent upon others to help you. You do not understand what is happening to you, Mother did understand one thing, she was loved and no matter what nothing not even ALZ could still the Love of God in her soul. She always knew God's touch and He was always with her till He took her home.

 When you can't keep her in bed, you just have to get in there with her:)

 Smooches from Mika, mother loved all the grand children

 April Bale and Alex loving on mother in her last days on earth

 Walk to END ALZ!

 Amelia singing to mother, a few days before she entered into Heaven

 

 

 Mother telling Dr. she is feeling good and doing fine:)

 Mother's brother's and sister's

 God please find a cure

 

 My brother Jimmy

 My sister Kay

 My mother, beautiful inside and out

 The love of my life, whom loved and cared for my mother, she loved him more that me:) He could get her to do anything!

 Mother, Connie and grand girls, they live next door

 Mother dancing with her brother Ed.

 Mother holding her baby me resting:))) Sorry for side ways pic, but at the time my life felt sideways:)

 A surprise from Santa

 Dancing night:)

 Mother at church holding Sydney

 Mother with Grand girls at Clay's wedding

 Mother 84 pds. :( we fattened her up!

 This card hit home.

 

 Steve dancing with mother, Mother loved to dance

 Wonderful care givers, Faye and Connie.

 Mother loved the Grand girls living next door.

 Mother loved her babies:)

 Playing Ball doing rehab.

 

 Reading a scripture Picture in her room. She read them every day:)

Life is not the same with her not here, our family is not the same after going through this time, I pray it will be some day. If I could share one thing  about this time, is it is the hardest time of your life, you will give when there is nothing to give until your empty and spilled out. At the same time you would not have it any other way. I will always wonder did I make the right decisions, and I have to believe I did with the guidance of the Lord being my strength and the council I sought. One thing I do know I have let my self grieve and enjoy the memories of my precious mother. I enjoy her daily in her China cabinet and table, I hear her in my heart in my sweet memories. Mother always had fresh flowers and I continue that on her table......I love fresh flowers too!



  Mother's table and China Cabinet

When mother moved in with us, we moved it here and I sold mine, at the time I really did not want it, because it is way to big for the area it is in, I loved the one I had, but I knew mother still recognized it, she would say, those are my tea pots, or is this my table?  Her and Walt custom ordered it, I would say yes!  We would look at the tea pots and talk.....I now cherish it!

Blessed is my mother! Mother, I will see you soon, until then I will see you in every penny I find, since pennies are from Heaven! I will hear you in my heart, I will feel you when I sleep in your room, I will continue to miss you, but allowing God to mend my broken heart.  I loved you with all my heart and so very thankful for the last years of your life that I could care and love on you daily!! Your my momma and always will be, even when your in Heaven!!