Saturday, September 15, 2012

My October Baby

Got up this morning fighting getting sick, I did start antibiotic yesterday for head junk, wanted to go see mother this am but will not go, so I will not make her sick, just called and talked to her nurse, she is doing ok, having some good days:)  I got up and rented a movie on movie on demand, got snuggled into my chair with a cup of hot tea, it is raining and I do not have work till later, I rented October Baby, I did not know anything really about this movie.  It is about a young woman finding her self, she was adopted at birth.  Such a great movie and the actress in it was actually being healed emotionally by the Lord as she played her role in the movie as the birth mother.......if you have not seen it, it is worth watching and for sure if your a adoptive parent or child.

It helped me see my self in April's life, Steve and I have always been so protective over her, not only us but all her brother's and sister's, I have always loved her the same as my birth children, people have ask that to me, is there a difference, and the answer is no, but there is a difference in the lengths you go to,so your child will never be rejected again if you can help it:)  in saying that, rejection is a part of life, so yes, they will be and you can not keep that from happening in their life:) But it caused me to look back and understand my role as April's mother, it always made me mad inside when her birth mother would call her self mother, raised so many emotions in me, in which I realized its because of never wanting April to be rejected again by her, at the same time with out her I would not have April, that movie helped me realize that when you adopt a child you have a protective heart because you have actually gotten them out of a rejection in their life that you never want to know again, for April it was a danger for her life. When you give birth to your child they have never been rejected or in danger, so its a different kind of protectiveness you have, hard to explain matters of the heart:) BUT I do know the love is all the same, I did not actually birth her out of my body but she was birthed out of my heart, love all my babies dearly:)

If your are adopting a baby you will as a mother be more protective in different areas, you have fears someone can get your baby back, will they seek out who gave them birth?  Will you lose them to someone else? 
In April's story we always let her know she was hand picked by God to be our little girl, we fought for her life and wanted her as our baby, in our family, her brother's and sister's chose her as their sister, they did not have a say so in the others:) I am blessed because my children are all very close with each other they have a bond that so many do not have, they love each other, do not always agree but my saying is "we may fight behind closed doors but when we cross the street we hold hands:) "
I just thank the Lord for the blessing HE gave me in choosing me to be April's mother:)

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