Lift up Thine Eyes

 IN MEMORY OF DEE

This is a high school friend Dee Stack Jones, we reconnected over the years. When she first was diagnosed with cancer, I prayed and prayed for her, went over and anointed her with oil and prayed for her, she had so much to live for, she loved her family, her grand babies, she was not ready to die. A surgeon had told her there was no hope and nothing he could do, she felt hopeless, lost, fearful.  At that time there was a prayer battle in me, I knew she was to live and fight this battle, I called her went over listened to her heart and prayed and prayed and prayed. She found a different Dr. a little more positive do surgery, she did all the treatments, she lived to see a new grand baby., was able to go back and teach, in which she loved.  Her test came back cancer free .  Dee had life again!

This past few months her cancer came back with a vengeance, I knew this was her time, she really did too, although she continued to fight to live and I continued to pray for her to be healed.   These past three weeks, she was so sick, weak, as she prepared to leave this world, in my heart I knew she would not pull out of this as she had done before and she past away.  Its very hard because she is 59, my age, she was full of life had so much to still give of her self, her children are grown, her grand babies are young, her husband will be lost with out her, they had been married years.

.  I sought the Lord for comfort, I am acquainted still with grief from the death of my mother, here are some things I would like to share about grief.

Isaiah 6:1-3 Jesus said these very words in Luke 4:18.....The Lord has sent me to bind up the broken hearted...to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve...to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. 

We can trust knowing the LORD himself will bind up our broken heart, HE will comfort, I love He will give beauty for ashes, for in grief you feel like life is all ashes right then, He will give the oil of gladness, oil keeps you going on in this life with out them, He will give you a garment of praise, I feel God has given me garments of praise of mother several times since her death, which totally brings me out of despair.

No two people grieve in the same way, but believe me it is real and it is grief, each person has their own time table, it is a process, as unique as and individuals personality.  First, shock and denial, the reality of never seeing our loved one again brings powerful inner resistance. We want to be left alone, to try to think things through, this is a healthy process unless we allow it to become a energy-draining swamp of self pity and despair. Second Anger and questioning, this is when we turn inward and start the "what ifs" or what "if I had", or "why did all this have to happen??" The most crucial step in this, is when grief turns to guilt the healing process is short circuited, we turn in on ourselves.  Reality continues to be rejected. What ifs become angry-draining obsession.  If you stay here then you will need help to over come this part of grief.  The only one who can offer peace and rest is the Lord, He said "Peace I leave with you; MY peace I give you" I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27   
When you do not get side tracked by guilt then you may experience some depression, the sense of loss becomes real, we can no longer deny reality, we can not reverse the situation.  This is when God of all sorrows comes along and He lifts up our eyes unto the hills, from whence our help comes and away from our loss, He helps us understand the process of death, Jesus was identified as a Man of Sorrows acquainted with grief. God invites us into HIS presence " all who are weary and heavy laden, or heavy hearted, come to Me and I will give you rest.   Depression is normal when one faces a serious loss, we need to recognize it as part of the grieving process, but refuse to give into it as a way to escape reality and postpone return to the real world in which loss must be accepted. When we can grieve in a healthy manner then our grieving becomes a bridge of love to the future. It is a living memorial based in love and built on hope that you will continue putting one foot before the other and moving forward in life,  full of precious memories of your loved one, full of what they would of wanted out of life for you. Life must go on, the grieving process takes time, there is no time limit on grief, never expect your self to be totally over it, a smell and laugh, a saying can always bring back a sting of missing your love one, when it does embrace it, tell the Lord you miss them, I will ask Jesus to tell my mother I love her, and you know what, I have heard her say in my head:) that " I love you more" which is what she said while here on earth.  This is always a hard place to be in life, there is nothing more devastating then death of a love one, even though the Bible states, death is to gain, and it is, when we have the Lord's perspective on death, but we sure miss them while we are still here on earth.  I pray if you are grieving in the death of a loved one that you will find your comfort from the Lord, I do not believe you can find lasting, healing comfort any where else, you may find temporary in a bottle of wine, or just changing everything about you, such as carousing, turning to people to find comfort, but you will find all that fails, the only rock you can stand on is the same rock you stood on while you had your loved one, the ROCK OF JESUS, all other ground is sinking sand.........if you did not know Jesus as the rock....you will, just call out His name and He will come running to lift you up and comfort you.